He may have won the battle but I… will win the next battle. When I got the nickname Bonerchamp, that’s when I became me. ~ Andy Bernard.īear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, AIG, my summer at Enron. I am gonna leave Dunder Mifflin to pursue acting after all.

after my father until I was about six or so, when my parents changed their minds. I minored in history in the Ivy League school which I attended. I can’t keep spinning gold out of your shit! ~ Andy Bernard. I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days, before you actually left them.

‘Oh I like your dress, but I’d like it more if you had prettier hair.’ ~ Andy Bernard. You can’t let a girl feel good about herself. We put them on a list and Rosa goes and gets them. In my family, we don’t really go out and get things. If the seminar was a meal, you’d be the amuse-bouche. That’s a golden ticket idea, right? How great was that show? Golden Grahams, another Is it? I don’t get this. ~ Andy Bernard.Īt my last headshot sitting, I was so distracted wondering what I was missing at work that I came across totally manic. Why? Because I have something no one else has, my brain, which I use to my advantage when advantageous. Funny Andy Bernard QuotesĪndrew Bernard doesn’t lose contests, he wins them… or he quits them for being unfair. My parents used to scramble to find babysitters, so they could take my little brother to do stuff. It’s so powerful, even a lot of men can’t resist a man singing show tunes. Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. Credit: The Office TV ShowĪnd you must be Michael Scott. ~ Andy Bernard.Įvery little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding. I think I said doop instead of boop at one point. There are two things I am passionate about: recycling and revenge. Mistletoe is not an excuse for sexual assault. I’m a bigger man than you’ll ever be! I would never sleep with another man’s fiancee! ~ Andy Bernard. Well, Michael, thank you for welcoming me to your little kingdom. I’m always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs. Protect her from what? Bears, you idiot? When’s the last time you saw a damn bear in Scranton? ~ Andy Bernard. If I had to put Dwight’s chances into a percentage, I would say he has none percent chance. At the last second I chickened out, took it anyway got a twelve twenty. Got over 500 students to just skip the SATs. In high school, I organized a walk out over standardized testing. I’ve always been the guy who can rally other people to rebel. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship! ~ Andy Bernard. You have sensitive nipples, they chafe, so they become more sensitive, so they chafe more. THE FIRE IS SHOOTING AT US! ~ Andy Bernard. Half the time I don’t know if I’m wearing my stage makeup or my work makeup. I’ve been trying to act and manage this branch. I’m the NardDog, okay? Nardman is my father. He personally tented Giuliani’s first and third weddings. I found the best “tentist” on the east coast. How do I find out if a girl is interested? Great question. The entire office has come down with a pernicious case of the Mondays. How are you not murdered every hour? ~ Andy Bernard.

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